Strategies to manage or control your anger?

We all get angry, but the fury out of control is not good for those around you and can even be harmful to your own body. Here are some tips to help you calm down or anger control.

Relaxation

Simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help calm feelings of anger. If your partner is irascible like you, it would be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.

Some simple steps you can try:

Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm. Breathing from your chest will not relax you. Imagine your breathing goes up from your "belly." Slowly repeat a reassuring word or phrase such as "relax" or "take it easy." Repeat it while breathing deeply. Resort to imagery; Visualize a relaxing experience from your memory or imagination. Slow and non-strenuous exercises such as yoga can relax your muscles and make you calm down. Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you are in a stressful situation.

Cognitive restructuring

Put simply, it means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, insult and speak with very high-pitched terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When he is angry, his ideas may become too exaggerated and too dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more reasonable ones. For example, instead of saying, "Oh, it's horrible, it's terrible, everything is ruined," tell yourself "it's frustrating and it's understandable that I'm upset but it's not the end of the world and getting angry won't solve it."

Be careful with the words "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or another person. "This machine never works" or "You always forget things" not only are not accurate but also tend to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there is no way to solve the problem. Also, distance and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you to find a solution. For example, suppose you have a friend who is always late when they make plans to meet. Do not attack it; think instead of the goal you want to achieve: arrive you and your friend at approximately the same time. Avoid saying things like "You're always late. You're the most irresponsible and inconsiderate person I've ever met." By doing this,

Express what the problem is and try to find a solution that works for both of you; Or take charge of the situation. For example, you can set the time for your meeting half an hour before your friend arrives on time, even if you have to trick him into doing so. Either way, the problem is solved and the friendship is not damaged.

Remember that getting angry won't solve anything, that it won't make you feel better (and that, in reality, it can make you feel worse).

Logic beats anger, because anger, even when justified, can quickly become irrational. Therefore, use cold logic for you. Remember that the world is not against you, you are simply experiencing some of the bad moments of everyday life. Do this every time you feel that anger is taking your best. This will help you have a more balanced perspective.

Angry people tend to demand justice, valuation, an agreement between the parties and willingness to do things their own way. We all want these things and feel hurt and disillusioned when we don't get them; but angry people demand them and when their demands are not met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people should become aware of their demanding nature and turn their expectations into desires. In other words, saying "I would like" something is healthier than saying "I demand" or "I should have" something. When you can't get what you want, you will experience normal reactions: frustration, disappointment, pain, but not anger. Some people use their anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that does not mean that the pain goes away.

Problem resolution

Sometimes our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inevitable problems in our lives. Not all anger is out of place and is often a healthy and natural response to these difficulties. Some people have a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and their frustration increases when they discover that it is not always the case. The best attitude to overcome this situation is to focus not so much on finding the solution but on how to handle and face the problem.

Draw a plan and verify your progress as you go. People who have problems with planning may find it helpful to find a good guide for organizing or managing time. Resolve to do your best, but also not to recriminate yourself if the answer does not come immediately. If you can address the problem with your best intentions and effort by making a serious attempt to address it directly, you will be less likely to lose patience and give in to ideas of all or nothing, even if it is not resolved immediately.